Friday, July 15, 2011

Singing Praises

Dear Adele,

Now that I’ve broken up with the Barefoot Contessa I have more time to devote to my girl-crush on you. (Don’t worry, it’s not THAT kind of crush. Just a sincere appreciation of your great musical gift.)

As Yvonne, my co-author, can attest, I’m normally not big on female singers. In fact, except for a brief youthful dalliance with the screaming girl band, Heart, guys have always dominated my personal playlist.

But Yvonne’s been singing your praises, so to speak, since your first album dropped, and when I finally decided to give you a listen, Rolling in the Deep blew me away. Before you could say “See Sandy Procrastinate,” I’d given you the full iTunes-youtube-wikipedia fan-girl treatment.

I wanted you to know that one of your songs probably saved my relationship. My guy and I had a bit of a scrap and I’m ashamed to admit I played the break-up card. I kind of/sort of/maybe meant it at the time, but then I heard THE song. You know the one I mean—the one that makes people realize they’re completely in the wrong after just 20 repetitions and forces them to apologize. I’d name it, but it feels oddly personal even though I’m blogging about it.

Anyhow, it’s all good now on the romance front. My guy isn’t at threatened by my girl-crush because he knows you’re way out of my league. Plus I’m too old for you (see Heart reference above).

But maybe we could all be friends. Obviously, Yvonne and I own your albums, so I was hoping you’d consider giving our books a try? I know, I know, we’re “rom-com” and you’re “heartache,” but something tells me you’re hiding a great sense of humour under that angst.

The good news is that you’ll be able to pick up our latest, Love, Inc., in London bookstores in September. Check out the cute cover our UK publisher, Allison and Busby, has designed.

If you happen to crush back on us—no pressure, but here’s hoping—The Black Sheep and Girl v Boy are set to follow.

Personally, I think you could do with a big dose of the Collins-Rideout happily-ever-afters.

Not to disparage your angst in any way. It certainly helped cure mine. And Yvonne couldn’t be more grateful, because usually she’s the one who has to slap some sense into me. Far better to do it with song.

All the best, and take care of that voice,

Sandy

Sunday, July 10, 2011

It's Not You, It's Me

Dear Barefoot Contessa:

I’m sorry to break the news this way, but we’ve got split up. You probably never even knew were an item, but I’ve worshipped you since last Christmas, when my co-author, Yvonne, gave me your first book.

I’ll miss you terribly, and I owe you a lot. Thanks to you, I have a hobby that—unlike writing—doesn’t make me want to drive a six-inch chef’s knife into my eye. Thanks to you, I gotten over the shame of being a failed vegetarian (your Sunday rib roast was superb!). Thanks to you, people actually like coming to my place for dinner.

But my devotion to you has really eaten into my writing time, if you’ll pardon the pun. Did you know there are nearly 1200 reviews of your recipe for Beatty’s Chocolate Cake on the Food network site? I bet you haven’t read them. Unfortunately, I have. I was looking for a solution to rock hard frosting. Beats me how that can happen with half a pound of butter and six ounces of quality chocolate, but then, I’m not you. Six months in the kitchen can’t turn a novice into a pro.

But you’ve seen me through some tough times this year and I’m grateful. While my mom was on chemo, the only thing she wanted to eat was your roasted squash soup, so I made weekly batches. And when she started feeling better, I tempted her with your highest butterfat recipes. Dad and I packed on every pound Mom lost during her treatment, but cooking turned out to be surprisingly therapeutic for all.

Anyway, Mom’s back in the kitchen and using your recipes herself, so it’s time I got down to work. This is the longest writing break Yvonne and I have taken in 10 years and re-entry’s been tough. Knowing we’re on a lot of summer reading lists puts the pressure on. People keep asking what’s next. Soon we’ll have an answer, if only I can keep my hands off the stand mixer and on the keyboard.

By the way, have you read any of our books? Not to guilt trip you or anything, but we own 10 of yours between us, so you could return the favour. Give Love, Inc. a try. The protagonist, Zahra, dreams about having her own cooking show. Maybe Yvonne was thinking of you when she suggested a character who cooks. I remember thinking, “boring,” but 40 Barefoot Contessa recipes later, I admit I was wrong.

So listen, have a great summer, and let’s check in this fall to see if the magic’s still there. I can’t deny I’m feeling some heat for Alton Brown these days, but rest assured, you’ll always be my first culinary love.

Thanks, and all the best,

Sandy