Behind the Scenes with Yvonne – Part II

There’s an old saying in the film business: never work with animals or children.

Experienced directors usually add “spouses” to that list, but as I mentioned in my last blog, neophytes can’t always avoid recruiting their nearest and dearest.

And so, one sunny winter morning, my husband joined me in our home office to record the voiceovers for the promotional trailers I’d created for The Black Sheep and The New and Improved Vivien Leigh Reid: Diva in Control.

It seemed straightforward enough. I’d cue up a trailer, he’d watch it a couple of times and then deliver his dialogue according to the mood and rhythm of the scene. At least, that’s how it works with actors when they have to overdub lines during a film’s editing.

What I’d forgotten, however, is that my husband’s head nearly exploded while learning the mambo for the first dance at our wedding. The guy looks great on the dance floor when he’s free-styling… How was I to know he can’t discern a beat?

But I digress.

Back in our home office/post-production studio, the first few voiceover attempts didn’t come anywhere close to syncing up with the action, so I moved on to Plan B. We recorded each sentence as a separate voice track that could be imported into the movie. It’s the more time-consuming option, but it allowed me to put the voiceovers exactly where I wanted them—without the hassle of a spousal homicide investigation.

Not that Plan B solved all of our problems. Despite his recent experience shooting the footage for The Black Sheep, the hub naively assumed that we’d record each line once. In his mind, he’d bang off the dialogue in 10 minutes and be back in his imaginary trailer watching the History Channel by noon.

Unfortunately, reality is a little different from fantasy…

Int. Office, Dusk
Husband and wife sit side by side before the iMac. The husband speaks into a microphone as the wife monitors the audio levels on the screen. He glances out the window at the sun setting on the house next door and a look of longing crosses his face as the neighbors sit down to their evening meal. The wife springs up and closes the blinds. Then she adjusts the mike, hits “record” and signals her husband to begin.

Hub: The New and Improved Vivien Leigh—
Wife: Cut! Could you punch up Vivien?
Hub: The New and Improved—
Wife: Cut! You need to sound a little more “Disney.”
Hub: Disney?
Wife: You know, perky. Up beat.
Hub: The New and Improved Vivien—
Wife: Cut! Bring the Disney down a notch and don’t rush it.
Hub: The New and Improved Vivien Leigh Reid, Diva—
Wife: Cut! Too British.
Hub: I am British.
Wife: Well, on this side of the Atlantic, it’s diva—not deever.
Hub. The New and Improved Vivien Leigh—
Wife: Cut! What happened to Disney?
Hub: The New and Improved Vivien Leigh—
Wife: Cut! You’re punching Vivien too much now.
Hub: [scowling] I’d like to punch something….
Wife: Pardon me?
Hub: The New and Improved Vivien Leigh Reid: Husband in Control.
Wife: You’re not funny.
Hub: I haven’t eaten in seven hours. How can I be funny?

Sighing, the wife releases her husband from duty and starts playing around on the computer. Adjusting her husband’s voice until he sounds like a (British) chipmunk on helium she cranks the volume to penetrate the History Channel. The husband reappears in the doorway with a slice of pizza in hand.

Hub: Remind me why I married you?
Wife: So that we could have hours of fun together?

The Husband sits down to watch a rough cut of the video.

Hub: Hey, I sound good! I guess it wasn’t so bad working with you.
Wife [stealing his pizza]: I’m glad you feel that way. Because the audio wasn’t deep enough on The Black Sheep trailer. We’ll have to record all of it again tomorrow.