Behind the Scenes with Yvonne

There’s a reason it takes a lot of cash to make a movie. Apart from paying multi-million dollar actors’ salaries, producers spend a ton on exotic locations, studio space, props and equipment rentals. Last, but not least, they hire a crew of professionals who are prepared to work long hours in sometimes challenging conditions.

When I decided to make a couple of no-budget trailers for our books, finding equipment and locations wasn’t a problem. Friends and family happily lent me their cameras, lights and homes. The challenge came with finding a crew. Sure, I know camera technicians, boom swingers, gaffers, grips, and props masters from my decade in the film business. But asking people to give up their downtime for my personal project felt like an imposition. Besides, my production was a bare bones affair; I could manage quite nicely with one willing flunky.

Now I know what you’re thinking… I have the perfect, built-in flunky: a coauthor. We’re a team, right? So I outlined my demands: I needed someone to drop everything and rush to my side the exact moment I decided to shoot. After all, I was entirely at the mercy of the elements. Making snowy Toronto look like New York in spring wouldn’t be easy. What’s more, I needed a chauffeur who would also haul equipment and deliver lattes at regular intervals. Is that too much to ask for the sake of creating art?

Apparently so. The coauthor’s barrage of excuses included brittle nails, poor circulation to her extremities, a long john crisis, a demanding work schedule, dry eyes, a minor sprained wrist and so on.

Now, Sandy does tend to buckle under anything heavier than a pen, but I couldn’t help but wonder if her reaction had something to do with the fact that there would only be one director on this production: Moi. Obviously things are a different when we’re collaborating on a book, where she gets equal billing. With this project, the owner of the iMac would have the final say. This was my baby.

So who can one get to work for free, at a moment’s notice, from dawn to dusk, in all weather conditions? Why, one’s husband, of course! Fortunately, recruiting mine was easy. He’s enjoyed all our previous artistic collaborations.

But this time, the shift from “collaboration” to “dictatorship” seemed to be problematic. I won’t say the man can’t take direction, but he had some trouble separating the wife from the boss. Unlike wives, bosses get to make unreasonable demands. If he thinks I enjoyed being a hard ass, he’s wrong. When I insisted on 16 takes of a door swinging open on that bitterly cold day in January, it’s because the shot was vital to the piece. And for the record, I never snickered; my teeth were just chattering from the cold.

Life on our home set wasn’t always peaceful either. For instance, when I asked the Hub to bring 13 binders home from work to use as props and he showed up with 3, I probably did use tone on him. And when I asked for large labels and the ones he produced were 1” X 2”, I definitely expressed my disappointment. But seriously, where would Spielberg be if he asked for a shark and his props guy delivered a sardine?

It’s safe to say that most guys would have trouble with shooting on the road. It calls for a light touch on both clutch and gas so the director’s camera will remain steady. To capture the flashing red light in The Black Sheep trailer, we circled the block at least a dozen times before the Hub managed to bring the car to a gentle enough stop. Then, halfway through my zoom, he drove off! Apparently, he felt the cop idling behind us came before my shot. That kind of attitude will never get a movie made.

Things eventually got much easier when the Hub accepted that this particular collaboration actually required his unquestioning dedication to my vision. In fact, mere days after principal photography wrapped, he started speaking fondly of the experience. This phenomenon is actually quite common in the film business. Crews often state that, as with childbirth, the pain must be quickly forgotten to enable one to repeat it.

And so, with some well earned expressions of gratitude—and a couple of pints of at his favorite pub—it was a cinch to convince the Hub to do the voiceovers.

Stay tuned for our next blog, when I’ll give you a glimpse of post-production.